A podcast about gender, identity, orientation, and all the life that happens around them! George is an FtM transgender man, Jess is his pansexual genderqueer wife; they talk parenting, work, and such.

Child#0 has been staying with us for about five years, but that may be about to change.

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TPT#342 - Fcsking Gate

Our family has a lot of experience in therapy, and George has experience as both the client and the provider. His job has been challenging lately, though, and he was considering leaving the profession, until he had an experience that made him rethink his retirement plans.

Our tall friend was in Episodes 162 and 163.

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When George took Child#2 to visit his sister, the trip had already been postponed and was on the verge of getting postponed again, but they went anyway, and only regretted it a little bit.

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George had to borrow Jess' car to get to a meeting, but when things aren't "as usual" mistakes can happen.

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Sometimes, even after years of transition, after surgeries and hormones and passing for the better part of a decade, gender dysphoria rears its ugly head again.

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In the competition to see who can have the most COVID-19 tests, is the goal a high score or a low one? The process of parenting sick kids, working "essentially" in health care and education, and taking ourselves down to the city for testing a few times a month, has been an adventure.

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TPT#337 - Surfaces

George's orientation is monogamous, and Jess is polyamorous. A recent situation had us discussing these differences and how they affect us or might be perceived. As usual, we also touched on how these affect, or are affected by, parenting and our respective genders.

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As kids return to school, they sometimes struggle to adapt to changing routines and expectations. We do our best to support them, while they often would rather reject our support because adolescence does that.

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Does parenting in public turn us into invisiqueers? We dragged two surly teenagers to the "Happiest Place on Earth" and it was just as fun as you might imagine, if you imagined a fair-to-middling amount of fun.

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George's cousin Vinnie has spent the past month road-tripping across the country, working remotely in their tech job, and stopped by to tell us all about it.

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After having one kid gone for three weeks, we had both minor children home for July 4 and decided some family time would be good for them, even if they think they're outgrowing us. When we took them to see fireworks, George's experience as "the man of the family" was decidedly unique.

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Now that we're vaccinated, it's been nice to enjoy social time with small groups of friends, even if it's kind of weird to see them life size. From tacos and beers to a memorial at a gay bar, being around other people isn't half bad.

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Feeling his fully-vaccinated freedom, George decided to take a trip to see a ball game. Sounded like a nice escape, but nothing is ever allowed to be easy for us.

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How weird is it to say "back when I was in a cult..."? George has said it more than a few times, and it doesn't seem to get less weird each time.

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George's mindfulness practice prompted him to think of dreams that have come true, and of course his first thought was of transition. We had other dreams as well, but who would have expected gender euphoria from a meditation app?

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The ongoing prescription testosterone shortage is making it harder for many trans men to get their HRT, and George's change in prescription insurance plan has made it even more of a challenge. But we rarely back down for a challenge, and we never forget to tell y'all all about it.

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With just under a decade of marriage, and just over a decade of partnership behind us, we still have things to learn about one another. Whether it's our patterns of thinking or our patterns of communication, we still have to continue working to become better partners for one another, and it's always interesting to consider how gender affects these patterns.

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The need to change in the car before taking Child#2 swimming made us think of things that George used to do more often before transition, like swimming and massages. Then, he reminisced on how his gender would have affected his family interactions when he was younger.

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After the endocrinologist increased George's testosterone dose, his blood work changed more than expected. When we talked that over with another friend, that person detailed experiences that made us both jealous.

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TPT#324 - Like A Butch

Because George works in health care, he was able to get vaccinated and is now able to start carefully going to do more things outside the house, like get a haircut. The experience was odd, partly because of not having gone to a barber since a pandemic ago, and partly because of gender. Between that, another job interview, and Child#0's partner considering transition, we had an interesting week.

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After over seven years of transition, the ways gender affects our interactions often now function as "background noise", but sometimes we have cause to pay attention to them. Being on "staycation" in absence of our annual pilgrimage to the shrine of Doctor Who gave us a few of those opportunities.

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George's reaction to his second COVID-19 shot is making him rather miserable, but he still found time to sit down and talk a while about our recent experiences with the gynecologist, with exceedingly cisgender clients, and with the adult children of friends seeking relationship advice.

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George finally got back to the gynecologist, and it was as much of an adventure as one would expect.

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Many trans folks struggle to engage with their sense of adulthood when their adolescence was full of the "wrong" milestones. Many folks who grew up with trauma struggle to fully experience their sense of adulthood when they were engaging with responsibilities much earlier than many of their peers. We, as parents, struggle with both of these challenges while also trying to raise future adults.

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TPT#319 -Now We Can Relax

When we scheduled our holiday celebrations early, we expected to be done with holiday stress early... which means we can get back to our normal un-holiday stress. George is preparing to go to the gynecologist, and that has caused him to pay more attention to other trans guys' online discussions of body dysphoria.

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George got his blood work, and with fewer moments of cringe than last time. Then he got an email that made his blood boil, but he is on "vacation" right now (using up leave time before it dissolves at year-end) so he's got time to chill.

Strongbad Emails are from the website Homestar Runner, at https://homestarrunner.com/.

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Festivus is almost a month away, but we have some grievances to air. George's testosterone is still difficult to obtain, then he got postal mail for his deadname from a university he attended NOT under that deadname. Jess has hard side-eye for Discovery's writers about unburying their queers again, and also for the "catering" service that didn't bother to heat their food before handing it off for Thanksgiving.

Picture is unrelated at knowyourmeme.com/memes/picture-unrelated.

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TPT#316 - Disassembly Line

Between Child#2's quarantine after potential COVID-19 exposure, and George's experience processing ballots for the election, life keeps moving along as George keeps noticing other short guys with less-angular features.

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As George was considering a potential promotion opportunity, he was also considering how his still-new-and-strange male privilege affected that prospective interview. Jess, on the other other hand, was considering how being out about their genderqueer status would make office interactions different in a potentially emotionally charged situation. We're both still working remotely, so that adds another layer of oddity to the entire situation, but we're making the best of it as we are able.

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Going to the doctor for "preventative maintenance" is usually a good idea, whether it's the flu shot or the gynecologist. Voting is also good "preventative maintenance" for our government, it doesn't solve all the problems but it can help prevent more problems.

Links we discussed:
FairFight is at FairFight.com
David Tennant Does a Podcast With... episode "Stacy Abrams" is at http://www.david-tennant.co.uk/2020/08/david-tennant-does-podcast-with-stacey.html

 

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TPT#313 - Bits and Bobs

George got some feedback on his self-introduction coming-out, and Jess sat thru a racial equity training at work. These experiences made us think about our own social and political leanings, how they became what they are, how we instill our values in our children, and how those values contrast with the smallish town we live in.

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A few weeks ago (Episode #310), we discussed George's preparation for his "all about me" presentation in his weekly meeting, at which he would come out as trans to his colleagues. Today, we recap that experience.

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TPT#311 - Waiting To Drive

With three working adults in our household, we are privileged to each have a car. But when all three cars break down at the same time, of course they picked the time for which Jess' hysterectomy was scheduled.

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George has wanted, for a while now, to be more "out" at work. Recently a teambuilding activity was introduced that may provide him the opportunity, but an overthinker like him still struggles with making it happen.

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TPT#309 - Beer In A Jar

Testosterone HRT has been known to thicken the blood, and George's hematocrit numbers are up. Jess is getting their hysterectomy, and also needs to manage their bloodwork, especially since their IUD hormones lowered their "good cholesterol" HDL. COVID-19 is making everything harder, and Jess' surgery is scheduled for the first week of school, but we'll muddle through like we always do.

 

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TPT#308 - Adulting Up

How do we help our child, who struggles to understand abstract concepts, realize that we won't like things just because they're about The Queers™? And when his other mom (who disappeared a year ago, after accusations of abuse didn't work out how she'd hoped) makes herself known again, how do we respond? And how do we help any other human ever, recognize the difference between fault and responsibility? Hard questions require ridiculous and horrible coping humor. And maybe answers. But definitely humor.

 

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When will we go back to work in our offices? Will George's change in Testosterone dose help his mood and functioning? When will our kids go back to school? Why does George's blood test show decreased kidney functioning? Is our new neighbor queer? So much uncertainty, but talking about it helps with the anxiety of it.

 

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When new descriptive terms are championed by marginalized populations, the lifespan of those words is unknown. Eventually many of those words, however, become victims of the culture of marginalization and outlive their usefulness. Whether it's the change in language around ethnic minorities, gender and sexual minorities, or disability communities, it's important to be responsive to those changes to be respectful of the members of those populations. In other news, George's blood work indicates that he should increase his testosterone dosage, but getting to, and through, that blood work has been a challenge.

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We believe that Black Lives Matter. Special needs parenting in a pandemic is somewhat prohibitive of attending marches or protests, so it's an odd feeling to be supportive from afar this round. That odd feeling, combined with the other oddities of our daily lives in quarantine, has caused George some strange stress dreams and given us cause to have discussions about our relationship that we've never needed to have before.

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Many studies have shown that working from home can be more productive than at centralized locations like an office. Lately, lots of folks have been multi-tasking while working from home, and when we had an appliance repair that needed doing, George thought he'd be able to manage it without any trouble. The universe thought differently.

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TPT#303 - Muppety

Because George is a civil servant, he is still working, even when gender makes things weird. Much of his job can be provided remotely, while simultaneously parenting and managing a challenging child's distance learning, but occasionally he does need to go to a place to do a thing. And of course, one place he had to go was a place where COVID-19 was confirmed just days thereafter.

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Bob has a slightly smaller moustache than Sir Didymus, but the resemblance stands.

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"A case of the Mondays" is the fictional ailment one might experience in an office job upon returning from a weekend. So why do George's Mondays seem longer now that he's working from home?

The Pronouns Song that Jess referenced can be found at youtube.com/watch?v=8Hb30PE1xgo.

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It's George's 7th Manniversary! We talked about how things have changed over the past decade, as his hormones have changed, his body has changed, his brain has changed, and the way others perceive him has changed.

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Some months back, we thought it might be fun to plan something for our 300th episode. In the meanwhile, a global pandemic has basically cancelled all plans. George has been on testosterone for almost seven years, but survived an estrogen-dominated body and social standing for decades prior, so it still catches him off guard sometimes to be perceived as male, whether by others or by himself.

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While quarantined with a small human, George got to work mostly from home. Jess didn't, but they were only a little put out by it. Not only did Child#2's other mom decide to show back up after half a year starting drama again, but the boy decided to express curiosity about George's genitals. For previous notable instances of the "Dick Patrol", see Episode 100 and Episode 262.

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Reality is, some people are transgender. But what that means to each trans person is highly subjective. We discussed the way our gender affects the ways we interact with one another and the world, how we live up to social norms and cultural expectations, and how we sometimes choose not to.

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We went to Gallifrey One, as we do every year in February. We help out some behind the scenes, and pay attention to the ways the LGBTQIA+ community is welcomed into the con. Between bringing the pronoun ribbons, parenting from afar, noticing women having apprehensive reactions to George's (cis-passing but intentionally visibly trans) masculinity, and Jess noticing others' reactions to the gender-affirming bathroom signage, a queer time was had by all.

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TPT#296 - Lady Bits

It often strikes George as slightly odd, how folks treat him now, compared to how they treated him prior to transition. It strikes him as downright bizarre, however, the excessively gendered ways in which they reinforce the genderedness of those interactions, especially after having had them pointed out. Whether it's at work, or at his endocrinologist, or at Jess' surgery, binary-minded cisgender people are weird.

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Sometimes we have time and energy to devote to gender- and transition-related topics. Sometimes we have time and energy to use on our own personal development and enrichment. Other times, things like parenting take up all of our cognitive bandwidth. And with the challenges we've been experiencing recently, that parenting thing has gotten somewhat overwhelming.

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George has mentioned before that he suffers from depression, which is slightly more common among members of the LGBTQIA+ community, although the degree of prevalence and correlation varies according to supportiveness of family and community. We discussed his experiences as both a patient and practicing clinician in the mental health industry, the strategies he employs to lessen symptoms when depression worsens, and as the overlap between his gender dysphoria and his depression.

Note that George often refers to his gender dysphoria by only the word "dysphoria", which does have other psychological meanings related to depression or mental illnesses. In this discussion, he is referring specifically to the discomfort and distress related to the incongruity between his gender identity and his sex assigned at birth.

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