TransPanTastic: Transgender parenting, work, marriage, transition, and life!

After 13 years on testosterone, has "second puberty" finally finished for George? And is his recently developed lethargy just aging or something else?

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Continuing last week's conversation, we turn from Vinnie's processing of their reconnaissance trip to their planning of their intended emigration, and the various roadbumps they've encountered in that process.

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A month after returning from Spain, we visited Vinnie for a weekend, and couldn't miss the chance to check in on how they are processing their experiences scoping out their intended emigration destination.

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♫♪ Together again, it's so good to be together again! ♪♫

We each had conversations with others while we were apart, and now that we've had a chance to reconnect, we've also had some time to process our experiences, and The Lawyer Friend Jail Friend may have gotten himself in even more trouble since last month.

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Not long after the Lawyer Friend got to Jail, they decided he belonged in the women's building. That created a whole set of social and psychological struggles, but the biggest struggle was just the fact of being there.

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While George is in Spain, Jess sat down with the Lawyer Friend to discuss his recent experiences with the carceral system. This week, we discussed how he got there, both figuratively and literally. Next week we'll discuss his continued experiences with correctional officers and fellow inmates.

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Vinnie and George discuss their continuing adventures and hyjinks.

00:30 - Lady dumplings and continuing "hypergender" discussions

13:25 - Dining at the Pink Sportsy Club

21:00 - Figuring out the transit ticketing, queueing, and bathrooms

29:35 - Surprised by unexpected vending machines

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In three segments, George and Vinnie discuss their first week of experiences in Spain.

00:30 - Dads dadding and ethically sourced beardy arts

06:20 - Meeting the gay neighbor and introducing "hypergender"

15:05 - Digital nomadding with gender and bathroom gender

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We continue our discussion of Vinnie's possible relocation plans, we discuss more of their research and selection process up to this point, as well as their next steps to visit their intended destination and plan a move.

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George and Cousin Vinnie are planning an overseas trip in the near future, to evaluate one potential location for Vinnie's intended emigration or residency. In the first half of the disussion, we talk about their reasons for wanting to leave, and some basic steps they've begun to take to prepare.

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In prior years, travel and medial appointments were both rare occurrences for us. They have both become much more common in recent years, and we are adjusting to our new normal.

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George's recent experiences with psychedelic mental health treatment, both as a patient and as a provider, have given him cause to consider how these experiences could benefit other queer and trans folks.

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As we were trying to wind down from the holidays, the holidays kept winding us up instead. From kids to friends to hosting a psychedelic integration group meeting that wasn't supposed to be an integration group meeting, the holidays kept holidaying.

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As a blended family, we have never celebrated a holiday on its assigned calendar date. (ACAB = Assigned Calendar At Birth?) We had lots of holiday queerness in all senses of the word, from a visit by Cousin Vinnie for LGBTQIA+ holiday outings, to adjusting our traditions now that the kids are grown.

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The boys have lived elsewhere for over a month, but we're still their parents. We also had been pet parents, but we recently lost Bob and so we're down to one dependent mammal.

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George processes some of his experiences with the therapies and supports that we previously discussed, then describes more esoteric approaches that he has found beneficial very recently.

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We continue our discussion of George's mental health care over his life, from his first access to anti-depressants during grad school, through to more modern behavioral, somatic, and pharmaceutical strategies that have helped him.

CORRECTION: At 17:35, Jess references a book that should be correctly titled "You Are The One You've Been Waiting For", not "looking for".

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George has lived with gender dysphoria and major depressive disorder for most of his life. In the first of a three-part discussion about all the therapeutic methods and treatments he's engaged with, we discuss his youth and young adulthood and the supports he was able to access at that time in his life.

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We went to a friend's gay wedding, saw another friend, and hung out with a bunch of weird straight people. Or maybe straight weird people. Or maybe we're being redundant.

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We live in the american inter-mountain west. Many queer and trans folks, as well as members of other marginalized communities, have had cause recently to consider emigrating from the US, so we discussed some of our friends' and acquaintances' stories, as well as our current mindset on this topic.

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After the boys left, they each experienced their own challenges and we supported them in the ways we could without being their landlords anymore.

Part one of this story can be found here.

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Some months ago, we gave our adult children a set of expectations they needed to meet in order to continue living with us. They did not meet the expectations, so we needed to enforce the consequences, but we still care about them, so we tried to be kind in doing so.

The second part of this story follows next week!

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Cousin Vinnie was over as they prepared to take George to Hawai'i on vacation. We discussed their recent adventures in gender, being about as far into their nonbinary transmasculinization as Jess is, but living in a much bigger city, but neither possessing nor desiring passing privilege.

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As our country of origin continues its glacial slide toward christofascism, we decided to temporarily escape ... to TERF island. Between tiny urinals in clean restrooms and LGBTQIA+ tours of government stolen artifacts museums, we got to attend London Trans Pride and tour Doctor Who filming sites.

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Life keeps us busy, and as we're preparing to head overseas we still get to continue our adventures with children, elders, and friends.

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While George fights with his phone's automated assistant and our household automation system, we are preparing to travel again, this time to London.

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Between Child#2, George's aunt, cousin Vinnie, and our lawyer friend, we have been keeping quite busy.

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While George was wandering himself all over the western US, he encountered a lot of folks who were doing a lot of gendery stuff. From the seemingly-cishet dude at the hardware store in the bay, to the queers at the psychedelic conference, to the cissies at the support group near home, there was much gender to be had.

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George's shoulder continues to heal, but now it's Child#2's turn for surgery on a major joint. Even though he recently moved out, we are still his parents and still care and help as we're able.

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As the LGBTQ+ community is increasingly under fire in western society, and trans folks in particular are experiencing a marked increase in legal and social marginalization, we talked a bit about our experiences finding safety in community across time and place, prior to the turn of the millenium.

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Disappointingly, but not unexpectedly, Child#2 has made the decision to find somewhere else to live that does not require him to meet our incredibly stringent expectations for hygiene and participation.

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As we continue living that sandwich generation life, both Child#2 and George's aunt are taxing our energy and cognitive bandwidth.

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George is going on a super queer psychedelic road trip. We discuss how that came about.

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George's shoulder surgery went better than expected, although being an 'old retired guy' everyone wants to talk about injuries and ailments. While he recovers we're preparing for Child#2 to turn 18 and move out, with strongly mixed feelings.

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Cousin Vinnie came to visit, so we sat down and talked about their past two years and Jess' past year on testosterone, comparing to George's initial experiences on T over a decade ago.

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When westerners call the generational status of caring for children and elders simultaneously "Sandwich Generation", Jess thinks that makes it sound like flavorful fillings in an easily handled form, but we have found it to be far from tasty. George especially finds it challenging while also dealing with repeated illness and injuries.

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Winding down our winter of all the freaking travel, we struggled with airports, recalled George's pre-transition man-blindness, and had a grand time at the soon-to-be-discontinued Gallifrey One.

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As we both age, George has reached the stage where half his conversations revolve around his injuries and ailments. but he's also maturing into his role as a trans elder in various queer communities and social circles.

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We found more queers to spend time with, together and separately, and George is glad to get back to having more queer community after years of hanging out with straight, cis, middle class parents.

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George finally decided to change endocrinologists, meanwhile his aunt needs more assistance and his shoulder needs surgery. Life continues apace, no matter how much we might want a break.

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George continued to pursue treatment for his shoulder, while also seeking supports for Child#2 who turns 18 soon, and having holidays with all our kids.

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George can't seem to catch a break when it comes to health care, his fistula is healing well but now he has an injured shoulder and the new testosterone prescription is not working as well as the old one. 

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George went back to the surgeon for the outpatient procedure to repair his fistula. That recovery seems to be going smoothly, but now he has injured his arm, which is not recovering anywhere near as well.

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George is going back to the surgeon for a fistula repair, and the bonus of going to the bay area is seeking new supplements and substances to benefit his mental health.

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In the interest of finding George more queer social time, we went to Folsom Street Fair and Salt Lake City, and yes we have recovered from the whiplash. Then we hosted the queers to help a friend with a construction project.

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We can be found online at TransPanTastic.net, you can email us at TransPanTastic@gmail.com, and "TransPanTastic" is searchable on most social networks. We would love to hear from you, so let us know what you think or what you want to hear about!

One recurring theme in the ten year's we've been in your ears has been the recurring difficulties accessing testosterone. These difficulties are familiar to most trans folks on any form of HRT, and now George has been struggling to also access mental health treatment meds after an insurance snafu.

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When George got to Child#2's IEP meeting, in addition to doing the parenty thing, he also got to be "the dude who shut down the other dude".

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Bob the dog is the only pet we intend to ever own again, but Child #3 wanted help keeping her cat when her other dad wasn't able to keep it anymore. We were willing to help, but only so far.

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After bringing Child#2 home from Alaska, getting him back into the routines of daily life, school, and preparations for adulting, have been a challenge. But we went to pride and George found some resources that might help with the adulting part.

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After many months of shortage, George's testosterone prescription has finally begun refilling again.

After many months of waiting for his endocrinologist to finish his move to a new practice, he has finally made contact and had an appointment.

After many hours on the phone with doctor's offices, with insurance reps, with pension program insurance liaisons, and with patient advocates, can he actually get his T to refill on a regular basis again before his cautiously hoarded stash runs out?

We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at vote.pollcode.com/32371374. If you have a request/suggestion that isn't listed, comment!

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