A podcast about gender, identity, orientation, and all the life that happens around them! George is an FtM transgender man, Jess is his pansexual genderqueer wife; they talk parenting, work, and such.
Episodes
Saturday Aug 08, 2015
Saturday Aug 08, 2015
Finishing the story of a weekend of Cub Scouts sleep-away camp. Sorry, still no hummingbird story.
Saturday Aug 01, 2015
Saturday Aug 01, 2015
Part one of our recap of George's and Child#2's time at Cub Scout camp. Will TransDad George survive interacting with the traditionally homophobic/transphobic boy scouts? Will Child#2 learn how to wipe his own rear end? Will George be able to manage the Dick Patrol while sharing a tent? Will we get back to the hummingbird story? Tune in next week to find out!!
Saturday Jul 25, 2015
Saturday Jul 25, 2015
For genderqueer individuals like Jess, the "typical trans narrative" often doesn't fit, and neither do the "standard" understandings of terminology and experience regarding their transgender experience. Transition can be more complicated when one is going in neither of the expected binary directions, and a medical understanding of life outside the binary is generally pathologized. As a non-binary person, Jess has chosen not to transition, but does that mean she's "less trans"?
Saturday Jul 18, 2015
Saturday Jul 18, 2015
We've done what we can to help Child#2 adapt to his differences of development and manage his challenging behaviours for some while now. Since last year, that has included George taking him to Cub Scouts to (hopefully) engage some positive social skills. Between the history of the Boy Scouts and our child's unique challenges, we've done our best to keep the difficulties of being the TransDad to the 8-going-on-4-year-old to a minimum, but we can't avoid them all!
Saturday Jul 11, 2015
Saturday Jul 11, 2015
When George was young, he never thought he'd get married. Now that marriage equality is a (mostly) settled issue, we reflect on its impact (or lack thereof) on our lives as a hetero-gendered couple. The times, they are a-changin'.
Saturday Jul 04, 2015
Saturday Jul 04, 2015
George's transition has resulted in numerous changes to his body. Many of these have been clearly beneficial in more closely aligning his body to match his gender identity, and in assisting others to correctly perceive him as his identified gender. Some of these changes, however, have been less than convenient. From excess sweat and intolerance for higher temperatures, to changes in the functioning of his cardiovascular and digestive systems, to a decreased ability to swim, some adaptation has been needed to meet recent challenges related to HRT.
Saturday Jun 27, 2015
Saturday Jun 27, 2015
Queer spaces often have their own set of unwritten rules, expectations, or social norms that are based on a collective experience of being perpetually on guard for one's own safety and peace of mind. Lately we spend less time in queer spaces than we'd like, but we've recently had some refreshing experiences with "folks like us".
Saturday Jun 20, 2015
Saturday Jun 20, 2015
We got to see the beautiful and eloquent Laverne Cox speak, and it was amazing. She spoke on not just her experience as a transgender person, but as a woman, as a person of color, and as a human living all of these experiences at once. Intersectionality abounds as we reflect on what she said and how it touched us.
Saturday Jun 13, 2015
Saturday Jun 13, 2015
The madness never ends, and while George occasionally plans to make time for self-care it doesn't always work out as planned. Between naughty children and ailing pets and elderly parents, other peoples' problems keep encroaching on his free-time fridays.
Saturday Jun 06, 2015
Saturday Jun 06, 2015
Government employment has its ups and downs. We discuss our experiences working in the public sector, the fun situations we find ourselves in with colleagues, and Jess' elementary-school closet. No, not the closet she was in as an elementary student, but the one she finds herself in as an elementary teacher. But now that school is out, transfer time is in, and she's hoping for another chance at moving into middle or high school.
Saturday May 30, 2015
Saturday May 30, 2015
Jess thinks in words, George thinks in pictures. That sometimes makes it difficult to communicate when the words are needed to share the pictures and ideas in his head. As George's body continues to change, and his place in our world continues to settle into the "man camp", he considers how and when to best express the unique viewpoint that his experiences with HRT, with the changes testosterone has brought, with masculinity and femininity, and with emigrating from the "woman camp" have provided.
Saturday May 23, 2015
Saturday May 23, 2015
Parenting is hard. There's no tutorial level, and difficulty settings are subject to change at random. One minute your kid is your trusty sidekick with tons of charisma points, and the next they're on a boss-fight level tantrum. One of ours is particularly difficult, by no fault of his own, and so we have started to hunt down a strategy guide or walkthrough.
Saturday May 16, 2015
Saturday May 16, 2015
Jess and George are fairly rational people. We prefer to use our brains whenever possible, but we are sharing our lives with other people who have clear limits to their sense of reason. Whether it's George's mom, entitled-genius Child#3, developmentally-delayed Child#2, or autistic-teenager Child#1, we often have to be the logical ones on behalf of those in our care.
Saturday May 09, 2015
Saturday May 09, 2015
George's body has changed a lot over two years on testosterone. In this "extra" episode, we detailed some specific measurements and how T has affected them. We pulled this content from the main "second man-iversary" episode because it only interests a segment of our listeners, so we didn't want to bore the majority of you, but we wanted to have this information available for those who find it interesting or pertinent to their own experience.
Saturday May 09, 2015
Saturday May 09, 2015
At George's second anniversary of HRT, we review how the past two years have gone, his medical transition process, and how he feels about the experience.
Saturday May 02, 2015
Saturday May 02, 2015
Continuing last week's discussion of Christianity and the LGBTQIA+ community, we talk about how our friends' lives changed as they moved in and out of religious employment, government employment, and the private sector. They could see the effect of their religious views and their love for the queer community in the way they fit (or didn't) into each step of their respective and collective journeys.
Saturday Apr 25, 2015
Saturday Apr 25, 2015
George's friend and his wife, the ones who lead the bible study we've mentioned, join us for another guest episode! We discuss their initial experiences at the intersection of religion and respect for the LGBTQIA+ community, and how they moved from a place of supporting "ex-gay" ministries to being genuinely supportive and loving toward the queer community.
Saturday Apr 18, 2015
Saturday Apr 18, 2015
Transition literally means a change from one thing to another. Prior to transition, we were perceived as our assigned gender, and until we begin transitioning we have to cope with a less-than-ideal circumstance and state of being. How we cope is unique to each individual, and how long we choose to adapt to our assigned gender is also variable. George's experience of adapting and his methods of adaptation to his assigned gender were effective for him... until they weren't.
Saturday Apr 11, 2015
Saturday Apr 11, 2015
When Child#2's special needs require a school meeting, it's naturally a little stressful. When we find out that Child Protection has gotten involved with him, it's a lot stressful. When we're a queer family facing these things, with relatively little experience so far with bigotry or discrimination, things might not be what they seem.
Saturday Apr 04, 2015
Saturday Apr 04, 2015
During transition, the way others see us changes. This often changes the way they interact with us, although not in ways we would have expected. Sometimes the changes aren't even things others realize they're doing, but we who have seen the interactions from both presentations can spot the differences.
Saturday Mar 28, 2015
Saturday Mar 28, 2015
"Seriously, there's an outrageous amount of running involved." George has had a really sh*tty day. Literally. Thankfully, between having the right hormones and the benefit of being culturally expected to behave as he is naturally inclined to do, he is able to manage things fairly well.
Saturday Mar 21, 2015
Saturday Mar 21, 2015
Genitals are a touchy subject in most of western culture, and no less so for most of the transgender community. We follow up previous discussions of George's "junk", and jump into Jess' "junk" also. Figuratively, of course. Frank discussion of lower dysphoria, sex, and genderqueer identity follow as we let the conversation follow our thoughts.
Saturday Mar 14, 2015
Saturday Mar 14, 2015
We love hearing from you, our listener friends. We do our best to respond to questions and feedback as quickly as possible, and while that may take us a few days sometimes, we are always glad to see what you think and to satisfy your curiosity. After we respond personally, we sometimes realize that your question is one that may be shared by other listeners, or we feel that it starts a worthwhile discussion, and so we compile them into an episode.
Saturday Mar 07, 2015
Saturday Mar 07, 2015
Child#2 is by far our most special and most needy of our special needs children. So when the school decides that he may not qualify for all of his special education services, we might have a problem on our hands. We try to find the bright side, or at least the bright spots, when we can, and it makes the problem closer to manageable. For now.
Saturday Feb 28, 2015
Saturday Feb 28, 2015
We are both people of faith, but only Jess is a person of religion. We've discussed before how our respective faith backgrounds overlap and how we adapt to a mixed-faith marriage, but now Jess has invited the whole queer Jesus gang to our house. George would probably have an issue with this, if it weren't his best friend and said friend's wife in charge of the group.
Saturday Feb 21, 2015
Saturday Feb 21, 2015
When a person transitions, they often find themselves becoming more aware of their status in the world, more aware of themselves, and more aware of others' awareness of them. From the gym to the job to the front porch, this week George discusses how his self-awareness has been affected by his transition experience.
Saturday Feb 14, 2015
Saturday Feb 14, 2015
Pronouns are important, especially within the transgender community. Misgendering can be a horrible insult to someone who's had to struggle for the right to use the word that fits. So when Jess is so linguistically-confused and gender-challenged that he can't even get her own pronouns right, let alone everyone else's, they might just have to forgo the use of gendered pronouns for a while.
Saturday Feb 07, 2015
Saturday Feb 07, 2015
Holy podcasts, TransMan! One hundred episodes? Wow!
Saturday Jan 31, 2015
Saturday Jan 31, 2015
During transition, making the change from one gender's sociocultural expectations to another can be a challenge, especially when someone has trained themself to ignore those differences. For George, and many other FtMs, things like how to groom one's newly sprouted facial hair and how to behave in the bathroom can be learning experiences., and a variety of problem-solving skills can be helpful in navigating the new experiences and expectations. For us, this month's learning experience has been at the gym, as George figures out how to bench press.
Saturday Jan 24, 2015
Saturday Jan 24, 2015
When two kids go away for holiday break, the "leftover" child is even more special-needy than usual. Between dialing 911 from the kids club, dive-bombing George's new model train with GI-Joes, running wild with classmates at the museum, and just generally being a developmentally delayed seven-going-on-three-year-old, we had our hands full.
Saturday Jan 17, 2015
Saturday Jan 17, 2015
Saturday Jan 10, 2015
Saturday Jan 10, 2015
In the second part of our conversation with George's cousin, we discuss marriage and family life as queers in the suburbs, and how different it is from the earlier history mentioned last week.
Saturday Jan 03, 2015
Saturday Jan 03, 2015
George's cousin came to visit, and we talked them into sitting down with us by a microphone for our first guest episode. As an AFAB, genderqueer, jewish, former pornographer, they fit right in with our crazy family!
Saturday Dec 27, 2014
Saturday Dec 27, 2014
Between birthdays and holidays, this year's schedule is full of opportunities for social awkwardness, gender-y and otherwise, and it has been all sorts of fun. Reviewing these events gives us an opportunity to discuss how George's introversion affects his social anxiety and how it has changed over the years, resulting from both experience and from transition.
Saturday Dec 20, 2014
Saturday Dec 20, 2014
Like Jack Sprat and wife, we often end up on opposite sides of a meal, task, or situation. George eats the fatty parts of the bacon, Jess eats the lean. George builds things, Jess sews things. George cleans, Jess cooks. While this is just a function of our respective experience and aptitudes, it often ends up seeming terribly heteronormative.
Saturday Dec 13, 2014
Saturday Dec 13, 2014
George seems to have developed a twin. Or maybe he has recently become some other guy's twin. Either way, his colleagues at work have mistaken him for one of his colleagues more than once. This mistaken identity has made George examine and become more aware of his own masculinity as he "sizes up" other guys and reevaluates his self-perception.
Saturday Dec 06, 2014
Saturday Dec 06, 2014
It's been said that "the only good dog stories are naughty dog stories". Unless there's a problem to solve, there's no story. The story isn't generally amusing while you're actually solving the problem, but the worst problems make for the best stories afterward.
You can hear and download the entire (accidentally-simmish) theme song at transpantastic.podbean.com/mf/web/ugf7y2/TPT-ThemeMusic.mp3.
Saturday Nov 29, 2014
Saturday Nov 29, 2014
George's mom has gone to visit his sister for the holidays, and we are thankful for the lessened obligation. Even so, the responsibility is never far away, no matter how long the plane ride took.
Saturday Nov 22, 2014
Saturday Nov 22, 2014
Transitioning later in life has both advantages and drawbacks. After one and a half years of medical transition, and almost two years since deciding to do so, George and Jess reflect on life as it is and how it has changed. Waiting until middle-age has made the process easier by far than it would've been at a younger age, but George still would've done it long ago if he'd known how beneficial it would've been. From muscles and facial hair to social and cultural shifts, things are different, and it's a good thing.
Saturday Nov 15, 2014
Saturday Nov 15, 2014
A few weeks back, you may have seen a link to a casting call on our social media. We thought about this project that MTV is considering, and decided we are not the ideal candidate family. Although many trans-parented families might have some similarities, the extents to which our unique differences present themselves are a little extreme even for us at times, and certainly doesn't need to be on camera. Besides, then who would do this podcast?!
Casting Call for Transgender Parents: http://remotecontrol.mtv.com/casting-call-for-parents/
Casting Call for Children of Transgender Parents: http://remotecontrol.mtv.com/casting-calls/casting-call-for-kids/
Saturday Nov 08, 2014
Saturday Nov 08, 2014
Between parenting our kids and parenting George's mom, we finally exhausted our reserves of responsibility, so we ran away from home. It's a very good thing to be able to get away, even if George is still recovering from minor surgery and even if the responsibilities do try to follow us!
Saturday Nov 01, 2014
Saturday Nov 01, 2014
At George's one-year checkup after his top surgery, the surgeon and he decided that there were a few spots that were less than ideal, so they scheduled revisions. George was ready for fixing the way his chest looked, but he wasn't ready for all the other things involved with that process!
Saturday Oct 25, 2014
Saturday Oct 25, 2014
Lately all of our responsibilities have had us feeling a little overwhelmed, so we decided to let loose a little bit in hopes of relieving a little of that stress.
Saturday Oct 18, 2014
Saturday Oct 18, 2014
Jess has mentioned before that she has become frustrated with managing small people at work. It's her job as a teacher to do so, but it has become increasingly clear that her talents and temperament are best suited to a secondary or post-secondary position. As she searches for a better job, the issue of how to discuss her family life and how to be a good queer role model for her students have been a topic of discussion for the two of us, and we have discussed the question of how "out" to be on George's behalf now, before she makes any statements regarding his trans status to her new staff or students.
Saturday Oct 11, 2014
Saturday Oct 11, 2014
Child#2 has been participating in boy scouts for a few months now, and while Jess still has reservations about their history with the LGBT community, George has been all about getting him involved with positive opportunities for male socialization.
Saturday Oct 04, 2014
Saturday Oct 04, 2014
Doctor visits can be stressful. George's semi-annual endocrinologist visit is coming up, and that means blood work, and between that and all the other visits he's been taking his mom or his rear-end to, he's developed a case of "White Coat Syndrome".
Saturday Sep 27, 2014
Saturday Sep 27, 2014
A new school year for our kids means new meetings and conferences with teachers for us, and with their special needs it's always an experience. As our children adjust to the schedules and routines, we adjust to the behaviour struggles that often accompany such transitions.
Saturday Sep 20, 2014
Saturday Sep 20, 2014
The adult voices in the old Peanuts cartoons were all played by a muted trombone. We often feel like when we're talking to our kids, they seem to hear that same "Wanh-wah, wa-wa-WANH-wa" sound, hearing that we are speaking but not really listening or being fully aware of what's being said. Of course, that sometimes happens with adults too, whether it's between ourselves or with the nice officials at the Social Security office.
The current policy for change of gender on Social Security records is at https://secure.ssa.gov/poms.nsf/lnx/0110212200, and you can find specific information about exactly how those policies affect transgender individuals and how to effectively use the procedures listed there at http://www.transequality.org/Resources/SSAResource_June2013.pdf.
Saturday Sep 13, 2014
Saturday Sep 13, 2014
While George finishes up the issues regarding his rear end, and the various interactions with doctors that we began discussing a few weeks ago, he can't help but find himself disappointed in the way his body responds to surgery and invasive medical procedures. This can occasionally become a dysphoria trigger, as he deals with just how unattainable and impractical any lower surgery would be.
Saturday Sep 06, 2014
Saturday Sep 06, 2014
When situations and circumstances become too much to deal with, or when we find that we are not dealing well with our situation, one way to get help coping is in therapy. Many trans folk seek therapy as part of the "Standards Of Care", an old model for medical transition, but it's good for much more than that.