A podcast about gender, identity, orientation, and all the life that happens around them! George is an FtM transgender man, Jess is his pansexual genderqueer wife; they talk parenting, work, and such.
Episodes
Saturday Feb 28, 2015
Saturday Feb 28, 2015
We are both people of faith, but only Jess is a person of religion. We've discussed before how our respective faith backgrounds overlap and how we adapt to a mixed-faith marriage, but now Jess has invited the whole queer Jesus gang to our house. George would probably have an issue with this, if it weren't his best friend and said friend's wife in charge of the group.
Saturday Feb 21, 2015
Saturday Feb 21, 2015
When a person transitions, they often find themselves becoming more aware of their status in the world, more aware of themselves, and more aware of others' awareness of them. From the gym to the job to the front porch, this week George discusses how his self-awareness has been affected by his transition experience.
Saturday Feb 14, 2015
Saturday Feb 14, 2015
Pronouns are important, especially within the transgender community. Misgendering can be a horrible insult to someone who's had to struggle for the right to use the word that fits. So when Jess is so linguistically-confused and gender-challenged that he can't even get her own pronouns right, let alone everyone else's, they might just have to forgo the use of gendered pronouns for a while.
Saturday Feb 07, 2015
Saturday Feb 07, 2015
Holy podcasts, TransMan! One hundred episodes? Wow!
Saturday Jan 31, 2015
Saturday Jan 31, 2015
During transition, making the change from one gender's sociocultural expectations to another can be a challenge, especially when someone has trained themself to ignore those differences. For George, and many other FtMs, things like how to groom one's newly sprouted facial hair and how to behave in the bathroom can be learning experiences., and a variety of problem-solving skills can be helpful in navigating the new experiences and expectations. For us, this month's learning experience has been at the gym, as George figures out how to bench press.
Saturday Jan 24, 2015
Saturday Jan 24, 2015
When two kids go away for holiday break, the "leftover" child is even more special-needy than usual. Between dialing 911 from the kids club, dive-bombing George's new model train with GI-Joes, running wild with classmates at the museum, and just generally being a developmentally delayed seven-going-on-three-year-old, we had our hands full.
Saturday Jan 17, 2015
Saturday Jan 17, 2015
Saturday Jan 10, 2015
Saturday Jan 10, 2015
In the second part of our conversation with George's cousin, we discuss marriage and family life as queers in the suburbs, and how different it is from the earlier history mentioned last week.
Saturday Jan 03, 2015
Saturday Jan 03, 2015
George's cousin came to visit, and we talked them into sitting down with us by a microphone for our first guest episode. As an AFAB, genderqueer, jewish, former pornographer, they fit right in with our crazy family!
Saturday Dec 27, 2014
Saturday Dec 27, 2014
Between birthdays and holidays, this year's schedule is full of opportunities for social awkwardness, gender-y and otherwise, and it has been all sorts of fun. Reviewing these events gives us an opportunity to discuss how George's introversion affects his social anxiety and how it has changed over the years, resulting from both experience and from transition.
Saturday Dec 20, 2014
Saturday Dec 20, 2014
Like Jack Sprat and wife, we often end up on opposite sides of a meal, task, or situation. George eats the fatty parts of the bacon, Jess eats the lean. George builds things, Jess sews things. George cleans, Jess cooks. While this is just a function of our respective experience and aptitudes, it often ends up seeming terribly heteronormative.
Saturday Dec 13, 2014
Saturday Dec 13, 2014
George seems to have developed a twin. Or maybe he has recently become some other guy's twin. Either way, his colleagues at work have mistaken him for one of his colleagues more than once. This mistaken identity has made George examine and become more aware of his own masculinity as he "sizes up" other guys and reevaluates his self-perception.
Saturday Dec 06, 2014
Saturday Dec 06, 2014
It's been said that "the only good dog stories are naughty dog stories". Unless there's a problem to solve, there's no story. The story isn't generally amusing while you're actually solving the problem, but the worst problems make for the best stories afterward.
You can hear and download the entire (accidentally-simmish) theme song at transpantastic.podbean.com/mf/web/ugf7y2/TPT-ThemeMusic.mp3.
Saturday Nov 29, 2014
Saturday Nov 29, 2014
George's mom has gone to visit his sister for the holidays, and we are thankful for the lessened obligation. Even so, the responsibility is never far away, no matter how long the plane ride took.
Saturday Nov 22, 2014
Saturday Nov 22, 2014
Transitioning later in life has both advantages and drawbacks. After one and a half years of medical transition, and almost two years since deciding to do so, George and Jess reflect on life as it is and how it has changed. Waiting until middle-age has made the process easier by far than it would've been at a younger age, but George still would've done it long ago if he'd known how beneficial it would've been. From muscles and facial hair to social and cultural shifts, things are different, and it's a good thing.
Saturday Nov 15, 2014
Saturday Nov 15, 2014
A few weeks back, you may have seen a link to a casting call on our social media. We thought about this project that MTV is considering, and decided we are not the ideal candidate family. Although many trans-parented families might have some similarities, the extents to which our unique differences present themselves are a little extreme even for us at times, and certainly doesn't need to be on camera. Besides, then who would do this podcast?!
Casting Call for Transgender Parents: http://remotecontrol.mtv.com/casting-call-for-parents/
Casting Call for Children of Transgender Parents: http://remotecontrol.mtv.com/casting-calls/casting-call-for-kids/
Saturday Nov 08, 2014
Saturday Nov 08, 2014
Between parenting our kids and parenting George's mom, we finally exhausted our reserves of responsibility, so we ran away from home. It's a very good thing to be able to get away, even if George is still recovering from minor surgery and even if the responsibilities do try to follow us!
Saturday Nov 01, 2014
Saturday Nov 01, 2014
At George's one-year checkup after his top surgery, the surgeon and he decided that there were a few spots that were less than ideal, so they scheduled revisions. George was ready for fixing the way his chest looked, but he wasn't ready for all the other things involved with that process!
Saturday Oct 25, 2014
Saturday Oct 25, 2014
Lately all of our responsibilities have had us feeling a little overwhelmed, so we decided to let loose a little bit in hopes of relieving a little of that stress.
Saturday Oct 18, 2014
Saturday Oct 18, 2014
Jess has mentioned before that she has become frustrated with managing small people at work. It's her job as a teacher to do so, but it has become increasingly clear that her talents and temperament are best suited to a secondary or post-secondary position. As she searches for a better job, the issue of how to discuss her family life and how to be a good queer role model for her students have been a topic of discussion for the two of us, and we have discussed the question of how "out" to be on George's behalf now, before she makes any statements regarding his trans status to her new staff or students.
Saturday Oct 11, 2014
Saturday Oct 11, 2014
Child#2 has been participating in boy scouts for a few months now, and while Jess still has reservations about their history with the LGBT community, George has been all about getting him involved with positive opportunities for male socialization.
Saturday Oct 04, 2014
Saturday Oct 04, 2014
Doctor visits can be stressful. George's semi-annual endocrinologist visit is coming up, and that means blood work, and between that and all the other visits he's been taking his mom or his rear-end to, he's developed a case of "White Coat Syndrome".
Saturday Sep 27, 2014
Saturday Sep 27, 2014
A new school year for our kids means new meetings and conferences with teachers for us, and with their special needs it's always an experience. As our children adjust to the schedules and routines, we adjust to the behaviour struggles that often accompany such transitions.
Saturday Sep 20, 2014
Saturday Sep 20, 2014
The adult voices in the old Peanuts cartoons were all played by a muted trombone. We often feel like when we're talking to our kids, they seem to hear that same "Wanh-wah, wa-wa-WANH-wa" sound, hearing that we are speaking but not really listening or being fully aware of what's being said. Of course, that sometimes happens with adults too, whether it's between ourselves or with the nice officials at the Social Security office.
The current policy for change of gender on Social Security records is at https://secure.ssa.gov/poms.nsf/lnx/0110212200, and you can find specific information about exactly how those policies affect transgender individuals and how to effectively use the procedures listed there at http://www.transequality.org/Resources/SSAResource_June2013.pdf.
Saturday Sep 13, 2014
Saturday Sep 13, 2014
While George finishes up the issues regarding his rear end, and the various interactions with doctors that we began discussing a few weeks ago, he can't help but find himself disappointed in the way his body responds to surgery and invasive medical procedures. This can occasionally become a dysphoria trigger, as he deals with just how unattainable and impractical any lower surgery would be.
Saturday Sep 06, 2014
Saturday Sep 06, 2014
When situations and circumstances become too much to deal with, or when we find that we are not dealing well with our situation, one way to get help coping is in therapy. Many trans folk seek therapy as part of the "Standards Of Care", an old model for medical transition, but it's good for much more than that.
Saturday Aug 30, 2014
Saturday Aug 30, 2014
Sometimes things get misplaced. While we endeavour to find lost items promptly, it often happens that the hunt for missing objects is preempted by our busy lives. Back-to-school has made our lives busier than usual, so the to-do list has gotten completely shuffled and lost-and-found hasn't been a priority.
Saturday Aug 23, 2014
Saturday Aug 23, 2014
More questions have been asked, so more answers are being recorded for your enjoyment, enlightenment, or timepassment. From the term "PrincessMan" to our favorite fandoms, from pod-stats to voice lessons, from Maryland to Kazakhstan, we've covered the topics you've asked about in today's episode.
Saturday Aug 16, 2014
Saturday Aug 16, 2014
Every once in a while, we have a problem that won't go away until we talk about it in a podcast episode. We've come to call this phenomenon "microphone magic". This time the problem is health-related, prompting a few visits to new doctors and the anxiety that can induce in trans folk.
Saturday Aug 09, 2014
Saturday Aug 09, 2014
From the moment a newborn emerges and the doctor takes note of their genitals, any child born into most western cultures is assigned a set of expections and cultural norms we refer to as "gender". It takes only a little experience to realize that the majority of these expectations are nonsense.
Saturday Aug 02, 2014
Saturday Aug 02, 2014
George's transition has made him clearly male in appearance, and this affects everything from his health to his social interactions. Jess is generally happy to support him in each situation, even when her own queerness gets lost in the shuffle. When hiking or exercising, when dealing with his mom, or when dealing with strangers in public, there are new experiences for both of us to explore.
Saturday Jul 26, 2014
Saturday Jul 26, 2014
There are four mammalian creatures in our house under four feet (~120cm) tall, two short hominids and two large canines. We have committed to be responsible for these living beings (and a tall homonid too), and this fact has given us both enjoyment and stress, both frustration and joy.
Saturday Jul 19, 2014
Saturday Jul 19, 2014
Saturday Jul 12, 2014
Saturday Jul 12, 2014
George's mom is old. As both her body and her brain have aged, she still seems, at least in our experience, to be fairly sharp. Why, then, do some of her doctors seem to think she has dementia? The answer might have to do with George's transition.
Saturday Jul 05, 2014
Saturday Jul 05, 2014
Because, episode sixty-nine, what else could we do?
Saturday Jun 28, 2014
Saturday Jun 28, 2014
Saturday Jun 21, 2014
Saturday Jun 21, 2014
George has the sniffles and the microphone seems to have become an antenna for some sort of radio signal. Jess managed to minimize the frequency containing the interference, but it's still there as background noise. Even so, we manage a follow-up discussion of dysphoria as it relates to last week's discussion of packing, peeing, genitalia, and options for lower surgery. The links from our prior discussion of STPs, including the "homemade" item we keep referencing, is at transpantastic.net/2013/10/stping-links.html.
Saturday Jun 14, 2014
Saturday Jun 14, 2014
Saturday Jun 07, 2014
Saturday Jun 07, 2014
When our kids grow up, they will have to earn their own way to pay for their own things. Our job as parents is to prepare them for this reality. If we raise them with a sense of entitlement, or a belief that they have a "right to" have what they want, regardless of whether or not it has been earned or properly used, we will have failed.
Saturday May 31, 2014
Saturday May 31, 2014
Life keeps going on. Transition keeps happening, even when George gets misgendered. Medicines keep getting refilled, even when we get the dead man's pills on accident. Kids keep growing taller and older, even when they don't seem to be growing smarter or more sensible. It just doesn't stop, even when we might want it to, just for a moment, so we can catch our breath.
The work letter that George sent via email to most of his colleagues last year, and re-sent as we discussed at about 05:30 is online at http://transpantastic.net/2013/09/the-work-letter.html.
Saturday May 24, 2014
Saturday May 24, 2014
One year on testosterone has changed a lot of things. George's voice has dropped noticeably, he stands a half-inch taller, and his whole body is shaped differently. But the best changes of all are not anatomical, they're psychological and social. To feel "right" in his own skin, and in the way others interact with him, this has been the best change of all.
Saturday May 17, 2014
Saturday May 17, 2014
Continuing last week's survey, we finish the "when" and "what" questions, and move into the "first time" and "either/or" questions. Some answers have changed in the past year, due to the effects of testosterone, and others are just fun.
Saturday May 10, 2014
Saturday May 10, 2014
A few weeks back, we posted a survey link to get some quick and anonymous demographics from you, our friends who listen to our weekly storytime. We expected 20%-50% response, but the initial response was less than 5% of our weekly download count. So we decided to take some surveys ourselves, the kind that float around tumblr and ask about the random details of your life. Here's the first half. Next week is the second (somewhat "adult") half, and the week after that will be George's "maniversary" episode.
Saturday May 03, 2014
Saturday May 03, 2014
The system of government pension in the United States is called Social Security. The number assigned to each American citizen and legal resident is called a Social Security Number, and it is used for all manner of federal identification. And like many government processes, it's a pain in the rear to change. Jess & George are both public employees, familiar with the simultaneously inane and labyrinthine procedures necessary to accomplish anything within government agencies, but bringing gender transition and his family's unique brand of interpersonal communication to the equation makes for a real adventure.
Saturday Apr 26, 2014
Saturday Apr 26, 2014
Recently George was having difficulty accomplishing all he felt he ought to at work. He found this frustrating, but his work-wife reminded him that he generally holds very high expectations for himself, and that the problem might be solved by adjusting these expectations. We've since applied this problem-solving method to many aspects of our lives, and what do you know, it works!
Saturday Apr 19, 2014
Saturday Apr 19, 2014
We often find ourselves in the middle of conversations and realize "this would make a good podcast topic." This time we turned on a microphone and started over with rape culture, working our way through family anecdotes and the metaphysical nature of trans-ness, to religion and our individual views on gender as they relate to faith.
Saturday Apr 12, 2014
Saturday Apr 12, 2014
Yeah, George is a middle-aged adolescent, but this week we're not talking about him. #1Child is is a cis-aged teenager, and #2 and #3 add up to almost equal him. We keep hoping that the parenting thing will settle down, but with our special-needs kids it's not likely.
Saturday Apr 05, 2014
Saturday Apr 05, 2014
From the changing room at the sporting goods store, to the hot tub at the gym, to the really gross bathrooms all over town, some spaces are decidedly gendered. We discuss George's experiences with these spaces over the course of finally getting himself a few needed replacements for clothing he has outgrown because of body changes on T.
Saturday Mar 29, 2014
Saturday Mar 29, 2014
Why does it always have to be friday? Jess & George discuss how the changes in George's hormones have changed the way he deals with stress and emotional overload. Also, Jess might be a psychopath and George has been on HRT for about ten months.
Saturday Mar 22, 2014
Saturday Mar 22, 2014
Genderedness happens. Lately, Jess has caught herself saying "You're such a man!" to George often enough to have become a joke. But upon wider examination, George is "Such a man!", #3Child is "Such a girl!", #2Child is "Such a boy!", #1Child is "Such a teenager!", and Jess is "Such a geek!".